*an untitled story

Charles Pidgeon doesn't know quite what this is, and neither do we. See what u think.



























It’s the year 2227. I power down my holoskates and skid-stop on the plasma strip. I’m here. The Archive. Only an elite core of academics and researchers are allowed in here. The Old-Web has long since vanished. We overthrew its tyranny. A few fading anarchists and old-fashioned Zuccists use it now. They say there’s something ‘pure’ stored here; memetic vintages of great sophistication. It’s easy to see these sadbro Old-Webisites simply as pretentious, cultural snobs. Everyone is part of the NewMemeWeb. And that scares them. ‘Memes weren’t meant to be part of life,’ they insist. ‘Memes weren’t meant to be communication – they were meant to be a form of art, that was to be cherished and appreciated.’ I pity them and their inability to keep up with modernity. The NewMemeWeb is here to stay, and we should embrace it. Don’t they see the glory of having dismembered the Old-Web’s power?


But part of me is curious about what they say. I swipe into The Archive and dissociate into encode-matter. It’s a tough ‘sosciate. I can tell this is an old system. Bytes zoom past without care for regulation server protocols. A dangerous world. I see the blue and white everywhere; it swamps around me. I never realised how thoroughly the blue/white Zuccists dominated the Old-Web. I file-transfer round the corner and I’m standing in a decrepit fb group. It reeks. The stench of shit-posting fills the stale byte-nexus. The savagery and brutality of my ancestors always astound me. How could they think this was fun? Thank Tesla we’ve evolved past the barbarity of the Roman circuses and Zucc shit-posts.


I find it. My ‘sosciated byte stream is starting to get fuzzy and tired when I find it. I dive into it. The primal power of Zuccist memes is everywhere. Blue and white. Blue/white. I see it. All of it. The Old-Web memetic systems laid before me. I follow their genealogies. I see the routes of vast IP family trees. Byte by byte, I trace the streams of Zuccist content as it develops.


I’m horrified. My data screams. I turn. I’m trapped. I try to file-transfer. I can't. I try syncing with external storage. Blocked. Blue/white. I see the Zucc. I see Him. It was all a lie. We never escaped the Old-Web. We still belong to the Zucc. The shiny, byte-polished NewMemeWeb we thought we’d made for ourselves was made by Him. He smiles. Blue and white. Blue/white. I panic. My ‘sosciated stream disperses. With a wrench and fuzz of memetic propulsion, I feel my byte-being scattered across Zucc’s realm. I know it is helpless when the ringing, religious, old-world refrain of ‘angery react’ churns through my being. Blue and white. Blue/white.

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